It s a cruel cruel world out there Trust me I ve seen it You re pretty much doomed unless you know how to survive Which you don t Which I do Which is why I have written the ultimate survival guide to life My name is TommyInnit I ve been around the block these past twenty years I ve seen things you couldn t handle I ve eaten things you couldn t taste Handled taxes in ways that probably won t get you arrested Always prepped for the apocalypse I know a thing or two about surviving Don t believe me Here s proof Things I ve survived Death of loved ones Swans Other stuff So you see This book is going to change you Let s begin