POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS

This book is approved for consumption by those seeking pleasure, escape, amusement, enlightenment, or general distraction. This book is not approved to treat disorders such as eBay addiction or incessant blind dating. Doll collectors may experience special sensitivity, as may discourteous drivers, candy-company brand managers, and nicotine-gum users. Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this book, until you know what possible side effects it may have on you.