Gill Sims

Why Mummy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane.Boy Child Peter, Girl Child Jane and Daddy have exciting adventures with Mummy. Daddy likes gadgets. Peter and Jane like starting fires, trying to kill each other and driving Mummy to drink. Written from the point of view of an exhausted mummy at the end of the day, its honest, its funny, and its a little bit sweary.It is Mummys 39th birthday. She is staring down the barrel at a future of people asking if she wants to come to their yoga class, and book clubs, where everyone is wearing statement scarves and they are all tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio. But Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who live for their children, boasting about Boy Child and Girl Childs achievements. Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering FML over and over, and then remembers the gem of an idea shes had

No.1 bestselling author Gill Sims is back with her eagerly awaited fourth and final Why Mummy novel. I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she's a little bit lost.And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don't know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying 'I can't find it Mummy' is not the same as actually looking for it! Amidst the chaos of A-Levels and driving tests, she's doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody is set on drifting off in different directions, and that one of those directions is to make yet another bloody snack. She's feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink. Reader reviews for Why Mummy's Sloshed 'Utterlybrilliant' 'Gill Sims never fails to make me laugh out loud' 'I fell in love with Gill Sims razor-sharp wit' 'I just adore this series' 'Ellen is the single most relatable character in any book' 'Devastated the series is finished'

Its time for a w(h)ineGod, shes funny Jilly CooperOh, for f*cks sake muttered Claire under her breath, as she opened the fridge to see what she could find for a no effort dinner. The children continued to fight behind her. They regarded any form of fish not encased in breadcrumbs as toxic, and were resistant enough to the delicious homemade fishfingers Claire had made for them, insisting they much preferred Captain Birdseyes version. White wine was starting to look like quite an appealing dinner actually. Maybe just a small glass.Are you having wine, Mum? You know youre not supposed to have wine every night. We did about alcohol units at school. Thats quite a big glass of wine, how many units do you think are in it?Bet the bastards didnt tell you that wine is remarkably good at cancelling out whining though, did they? muttered Claire.Claires family has gone nuclear. Her precious moppets keep calling Childline when she feeds them broccoli, shes utterly Ottolenghied out at weekends, and her darling husband is having an affair with her best friend.The question isnt whether she needs a glass of wine, but is there one big enough?Enter the Sauvignon Sisterhood, a new set of friends brought together by a shared love of liquid therapy. Together they might just be able to convince Claire that, like a good bottle of red, life really can get better with age. Or at least theres more to it than the joy of an M&S non-iron school uniform.

First book in a humorous series about Lila Mackay, a misunderstood but lovable character.

Mami ist gerade 39 geworden. Mit Schrecken blickt sie einer Zukunft entgegen, in der sie standig gefragt wird, ob sie nicht auch mal zum Yoga fur Fortgeschrittene kommen will,und wo auf Partys alle so tun, als hatten sie nach einem Pinot Grigio schon ein Schwipschen. Aber Mami hat weder Lust auf Yoga noch darauf, nur noch fur ihre Kinder zu leben und auf dem Schulhof rumzustehen, wahrend andere Mutter mit den jungsten auerlehrplanmaigen Aktivitaten ihres Nachwuchses angeben oder sie mit ihrem neuesten Familienurlaub zu beeindrucken versuchen. Stattdessen greift sie bei jeder Gelegenheit zu einem groen Glas Wein und fragt sich, wo sie selbst bei all dem Familientrubel eigentlich bleibt. Bis sie sich auf eine geniale Idee von fruher besinnt, die nur noch darauf wartet, in die Tat umgesetzt zu werden

"HE DICHO QUE NO""NO TE SIENTES AHÍ","NO TOQUES ESO""PORQUE LO DIGO YO"Si te sientes identificada con estas frases, si eres madre, pero a veces quisieras no serlo, si pierdes los nervios más de lo que desearas, si tienes poco tiempo libre y mucho sueño, si eres experta en horarios y actividades extraescolares, si alguna vez al abrir tu nevera has visto que estaba todo caducado, si eres experta en improvisar y sueñas todas las noches con ver a tus hijos caer rendidos en la cama para tomarte una copa de vino,, este es tu libro.Relajate, tomate un respiro y abre las paginas de ¿Por que mama se cabrea?Un hijo conectado a su iPad como si fuera un cordon umbilical; una hija desesperada por hacerse millonaria como influencer de Instagram; un papa, siempre viajando por negocios.Y un matrimonio que se tambalea.La mama, de cuarenta y dos años, ha encontrado un trabajo en una empresa de nuevas tecnologias haciendose pasar por una divertida soltera sin compromisos familiares.¿Lograra sostener esta farsa? ¿Conseguira salvar a su familia? Y, sobre todo, tener su momento para poder tomarse un gin-tonic.Un libro con el que las madres se sentiran identificadas.

I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN?Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

Martes 8 de septiembrePrimer día de cole. Este año, lo del colegio de los niños lo voy a clavar al cien por cien. ¡Yo puedo con lo que sea!. Sí, este año va a ser sin duda mucho mejor —no voy a grita

Martes 8 de septiembrePrimer día de cole. Este año, lo del colegio de los niños lo voy a clavar al cien por cien. ¡Yo puedo con lo que sea!. Sí, este año va a ser sin duda mucho mejor —no voy a grita